if you’re more concerned with defending your own violent fetishes and kinky orgasms than with the fact that people have been coerced into and traumatized by the very behavior you fetishize….
if someone doesn’t want you to show off their hypothetical knife collection because of past trauma you should respect that
if someone doesn’t want you to drink in front of them or suggest they go out to bars because of issues with alcoholism you should respect that
if someone doesn’t like hearing about or seeing or being encouraged to try a certain sex act that makes them uncomfortable (especially if it brings up memories of past abuse/assault) you should respect that
Yes, to an extent. But people have their own lives and your problems aren’t an excuse to not respect others too with having their own interests. Maybe you shouldn’t be around people if you don’t want to hear about their specific interests, or aren’t drinking anymore, rather than trying to make them keep their interests to themselves and not have fun. Being a victim doesn’t mean you no longer have any responsibility to choose who to be around, and get to turn around your loss of control and control everyone and censor their behavior and thoughts for you.
If I talked about guns and had guns, you don’t get to constantly be around and tell me not to discuss guns. At some point you can fuck right off, I’m talking about what I want.
You’re not automatically just entitled to beat and retard my enthusiasm and fun with the personal sense of injustice you’re carrying.
i was specifically referring to situations in which people are discussing the ethics of bdsm and survivors of sexual assault get talked over by kinksters who think their fetishes are more important than other people’s trauma
You can’t dictate that people disregard their own interests and make everything about you. Again, even traumatic experiences are no excuse to do that.
People going out of their way to be assholes is one thing but when people are discussing the ethics and you project your injustice onto their fetish, they’re not talking over you. You actively talking about someone’s interests means they have every reason to counter your bullshit. Especially if you’re barging into their shit and complaining. Your victimhood is IRRELEVANT to that discussion of their enjoyment and how you want to police it. THAT’S talking over people.
as a far as “enthusiasm and fun” go: if someone’s version of fun is dependent on my own emotional distress, i’m getting the fuck out of there as fast as possible
But no one is obligated to follow you.
reducing the emotional and physical trauma that rape survivors go through to a “personal sense of injustice” is really gross fyi
Describing a part of something doesn’t mean “reducing”, it’s just describing that part of something. I’m saying when you have a personal sense of injustice, it’s not an excuse to police others interests. It’s not. And saying it’s more serious and there’s more to it still doesn’t make it an excuse.
this isn’t like “oh, i don’t like cherry pie, no one eat cherry pie around me,” this is about people wanting to stay out of trigging and traumatic environments and situations
Then they shouldn’t be involving themselves in discussions about the ethics of BDSM in the first place. You don’t loose all responsibility and autonomy the second your victimized. Avoid those discussions.
oh my goodness
Y’all!!!! Why is this so good?!?!
when someone pisses you off
Snowpiercer (Bong Joon-ho, 2013)